


Eat Pray Love

by dog2222222222222222



Category: Minecraft - Fandom, Naruto, RPF - Fandom, founding fathers - Fandom
Genre: 1700s, 18th Century, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Benjamin Franklin - Freeform, Body Horror, Breasts, Climate Change, Death, Drugs, Explosion, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Founding Fathers, Future, Gen, Global Warming, Inflation, Japan, Main Character Death, Manga & Anime, Minecraft, Money, NSFW, Natuto Uzumaki, Other, Persian rugs, RPF, Spring, Steve(minecraft), TNT, Tampons, Trafficking, Uzumaki Naruto - Freeform, hygiene, mafia, tw: greek philosophy mention, vagina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:34:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8854585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dog2222222222222222/pseuds/dog2222222222222222
Summary: "Ben stopped pacing. He hadn’t seen Naruto in a millennium since she left to go find herself in the world in the process of becoming a woman. It was like Eat Pray Love, but retarded. Her breasts must have grown since then. He ogled them with wide eyes. It must have been impossible to even find a bra for those."Or the one where Benjamin Franklin must teach Naruto about basic hygiene, even if it's in the hard way. And there is really nothing quite like springtime in Japan.TRIGGER WARNING: GREEK PHILOSOPHY MENTION





	

Benjamin paced and paced around the flat. He had just gotten back from a serious meeting with the rest of the founding fathers, his gang of old college friends that he started hanging out with. His life after college at Harvard was tedious-being a political science major with no teaching degree or anything was a hard life. Bills piled up and the rent kept coming. “I might as well have a humanities degree,” scoffed Ben as he pulled at his thinning but long hair. Since graduation, it just kept getting thinner. “How am I going to pay this month’s rent? $560? Yeah right!”

Just then, Ben’s roommate, Naruto, knocked on the door. Naruto’s voluptuous chest bounced with each boisterous movement ever since he was transformed into a woman by Ben’s worst college rival, the Norse demigod Loki Laufeyson. But that is a story for a different time. Anyway, Naruto burst through the door, breasts bobbling beautifully. Her long blond hair swished behind her as the door slammed. Ben stopped pacing. He hadn’t seen Naruto in a millennium since she left to go find herself in the world in the process of becoming a woman. It was like Eat Pray Love, but retarded. Her breasts must have grown since then. He ogled them with wide eyes. It must have been impossible to even find a bra for those.

“Ben-chan, I have the money for this month’s rent! I finally have it!” Naruto shouted, a high blush appearing on her white cheeks. She was wearing a white shirt and a very short blue skirt. Along with her entered a very putrid scent like a fishing wharf mixed with shit. Ben’s face turned to an expression of a very rich man who had just seen a cat vomit its entire being onto a million dollar Persian rug. If there was one thing about Benjamin Franklin that the reader should know, it’s that he was all about that lucrative Persian rug business. Secretly, behind Naruto’s back, he was pulling some serious bank. Instead of spending it on rent and bills, he was funding his million-dollar drug and trafficking business. But nobody really needed to know that. Anyway, the house smelt like straight up fucking doodoo mixed with some hooker’s hot ass dick breath.

“N-Naruto?” said Benjamin, staring blatantly at Naruto’s massive size triple T tits. “Where the hell have you been?!” He walked over to his largely absent roommate, almost embracing her in a welcoming embrace, but then it became clear that whatever reeked like a roadside Chipotle bathroom mixed with whatever festers inside of Chris-Chan’s man diaper was coming from none other than Naruto. “And why the hell do you smell like shit?!”

“Oh, Ben!” Naruto sighed, throwing herself down onto the settee, a puff of putrescence wafting into the air as she did so, “It was so hard! But I finally have returned with all the money we need! We will never have to pay bills or rent again! I have struck it rich!”

“That is fantastic!” shouted Ben, secretly doubting that Naruto had more money than he had seen before. But he decided to let that basic ass bitch be happy about something for once. She had been quite angsty since being turned into a woman. I bet you would be too if you had your cock inverted and not knowing what to do with it. “But why do you smell so bad?”

Naruto’s bottom lip quivered. Her faced turned an ashamed pink as she stood herself up. She could not look Ben in the face.

“I-I…” Naruto could not speak. She felt tears prickling at her eyes, threatening to fall. She looked to the floor, to the very nice Persian rug below her feet. It was a comforting variation of yellows. Yellow made her think of such calming things. The colour of her hair, the sun, jaundice, chunks in the vomit of a back-alley prostitute, the rotting teeth of an old Chinese mainlander… simple things.

“Naruto, you cab tell be,” Ben said with his nose plugged. The odour was truly noxious.

Naruto sniffled and looked to the side. “Y-you have to promise you won’t tell anybody…”

“I bromise,” Ben swore, wearing a serious look. He could just feel his hair thinning in this stressful moment as well as his nose hair from the horrible stink.

“Okay,” Naruto sighed. “I left a millennium ago to go seek the secrets of womanhood. When I left, it was just me, my mosquito bite breasts, and my tight pussy. But alas! I am afraid I have come back with these giant globes and… well… my vagina is not as tight as it once was, I am afraid…” A single tear fell from Naruto’s dull blue eye, which was once bright with anticipation.

“Why?” Ben urged, “Tell me woman, why!” He tried to sound serious, but his nose was still plugged.

“Well, I traveled to the Hidden Leaf Village, you know, my home… And well, when I got there, I was desperate for money and food. I had already fucked about a thousand guys since then. But the money stopped coming once my pussy stopped being tight.

There was a sign in the main town square that said “Tampon contest- reward, five million dollars! I knew that I had to enter! For us, Ben! And so I did. On the night of my contest, I fit no less than six thousand tampons into my vagina. Only there was a problem, so I had to come home. And now I am here…”

“What? What were you thinking!” Ben unplugged his nose and was immediately bombarded by the scent of death. “What happened then?”

“Promise you won’t laugh…” Naruto was sobbing in earnest now as she lifted her skirt to the horrors below.

Ben gasped and then clutched his hand over his mouth, willing himself not to vomit up his breakfast. There in front of him was a red and raw piece of flesh that hung from the inside of Naruto like a used sock. It was surrounded by green and yellow smegma. It dripped putrid and sticky goop onto the Persian rug. Pussy juice fell down Naruto’s thighs, and Ben immediately knew where the putrid scent was coming from. Naruto’s cunt looked like it had not been washed in decades. And it smelled like her ass hadn’t either.

“For the love of-“ Ben retched, “God! For the love of God, Naruto! What the hell did you do to yourself?!”

“I… I didn’t know you were supposed to wash it,” Naruto wailed, “I shoved six thousand tampons up into my vagina and they won’t come out!”

“ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU HAVEN’T WASHED YOUR PUSSY IN A THOUSAND YEARS?!”

“I DIDN’T KNOW HOW! I NEVER EVEN KNEW HOW TO CLEAN MY DICK WHEN I HAD ONE!”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SMELL OF ROTTING CAT FOOD WAS COMING FROM YOUR FUCKING DICK CHEESE?”

“I AM SO SO SORRY!” sobbed Naruto, falling onto the floor. Her jiggly gallons hit the ground first with a splat sound. They cushioned her fall. She tried to bang her fists and feet on the floor in her tantrum, but her tits were so big that she could not even reach the ground. Suddenly, they started to grow even more.

“W- Waaaahhhh!” cried Naruto as her body left the ground but her growing breasts stayed put. “What is happening to me!”

Ben moved quickly out of the way, staring at his roommate’s cushiony tits. He was willing to bet that she hadn’t washed them in a thousand years as well.

“You know what we must do there is only one way to clean this,” Ben shouted through his roommate’s tormented screams as her balloons blew with air. “We will have to call the only person who I know to take care of this problem… Steve from Minecraft!” Ben pulled out his iPhone 900 and dialed Steve’s number.

“Hello? I’m trying to fucking masturbate here, you fucking cunt nugget!” Steve answered.

“Steve, it’s Ben. We have an emergency. And speaking of cunt nuggets, make sure to bring the TNT.”

“I got it man. But it’s gonna cost ya.” Steve hung up. Ben stared at Naruto, whose tits seemed to have stopped growing. They filled up the entire living room like two ten-foot high beach balls. Boy, who wouldn’t love to motorboat those babies… Probably cause the earthquake that would sever California that the news keeps talking about. Climate change is a myth.

 

~

 

“HOOOOLY shit,” Steve said, assessing the situation. Steve didn’t have a nose, so of course, he was perfect for the job. Naruto’s fetid sock cunt was right in his face. “Yeah ok. That’s fucking disgusting. Six thousand tampons you say? Hmmm. That will cost you about five million dollars.”

“W-what?!” That’s exactly how much money we need to pay off all of our rent and bills!” Ben said, exasperated. “You wouldn’t really!”

“Ben, you are an underground drug lord and pimp as well as one of the founding fathers of the United States of America. I know you have fucking bank,” Steve said, Pushing mounds of TNT Minecraft bricks into Naruto’s vagina, his arm covered in thousand year old crust and splooge.

“Ben, you’re a drug lord?!” screamed Naruto.

“Yes, you fucking slut, save it for later,” retorted Ben.

“Ok Ben, you’re going to have to stand back. She’s gonna blow.” Steve took the flint and steel from his pocket and lit the TNT.

Naruto began to vibrate, breasts once again quivering. Her whole body was shaking like it was under some sort of private invisible earthquake. Steve and Ben took shelter behind the kitchen island a few feet away. Suddenly the TNT went off in a flash and Ben couldn’t hear anything. All he knew was that his living room was blown apart and rubble was raining down along with thousands of blackened tampons, their strings fluttering in the blast. He and Steve both shielded their heads, but he was still hit in the head with something rather large. Ah, the bust of Greek philosopher Aristotle. That cost me $500,000, he thinks before he is out cold and all he can see is the universe behind his eyes.

If he is living or dead, he does not know. But he is wandering. Wandering down a path very slowly. He can hear the birds flittering in the trees. Cherry blossoms fall in what seems like slow motion. There is a painfully wonderful breeze that passes its way through the green leaves of the trees and lightly teases at his face. He stands at a bridge now. This is Japan in the spring.

He does not merely accept death as he reaches down into the river. He certainly does not accept it as the black rotten hand pushes its way from the clear water like plasma. He certainly does not merely accept death when he lightly grabs the hand as he would a small child’s. No, he greets death. He takes death by the hand, shakes it, and follows it into a path in the river that the hand has made for him. No, as black and festering tampon, crawling with small insects, hits his dead body in the face, he follows death and greets it, greets it like a long lost brother.

Yes. There is nothing quite like Japan in the spring.


End file.
